He plays a huge sonofabitch as big as our house, a von Beckerath pipe organ. It was weird going to college and not hearing the ambiance of someone practicing piano or rattling the house with an electric organ. A machine of grandeur, symbolic of the achievements of man, has always droned in the background of my life. But I was growing up and left it behind.
I'm definitely not religious anymore. I've stopped going to church years ago. It’s easy to snowball into cynicism. Yet every once in awhile, I'll make a promise and wake up at an ungodly early hour on a school break at home. I'll fumble with an abridged morning routine, having promised my dad I'd be his chores buddy for the day, but after morning mass. I'll sit in the cathedral, in the very back, watching a not-even-one-tenth full morning mass quietly drone on at the front. And I'll feel comfy and at ease, hearing the reverb of old and quiet voices and pipe organ in a space the size of a few city blocks. There's something almost magical about sitting in the wooden pews, watching the stained glass windows slowly wake up with the day, hearing the organ weave a tapestry of sounds. Afterwards, my dad and I will sometimes hop across the street to a cafe literally the size of a closet to grab some cheap coffee and shake off the trance of the organ.
That's my contemporary religious experience.
It's a gentle tap on the shoulder that the world I used to exist in is still here and lives without me, as I live without it. We both exist, but the difference is in how fast time travels. Time stands still in a church."
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